


shall we meet in santa fe

by Skyson



Category: The Man in the High Castle (TV)
Genre: AU, F/M, Juliana x Wyatt, Minor John/Helen, Post-Season/Series 03, Pre-Season/Series 04, Wyatt POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 08:42:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21491515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyson/pseuds/Skyson
Summary: While Wyatt deals with having unintentionally become the new leader of the Resistance, he hears about some rumors that throw a curveball into his plans. Perhaps a curveball isn't always a bad thing, though.Mostly written before Season 04, so no spoilers there.
Relationships: Juliana Crain/Wyatt Price | Liam
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	shall we meet in santa fe

**Author's Note:**

> For a certain Anon on Tumblr. :)

* * *

“_Juliana! Nooo!_”

Wyatt jerked awake with a harsh gasp, his throat raw and his heart pounding. Grumbling to himself, he swung his feet to the floor and rubbed his hands over his face and through his hair. He was uncomfortably damp with sweat. He needed another shower. Curling his knuckles into his beard and tugging a little, sharp enough to confirm that he was fully awake, he figured he might need a shave, too.

He hadn’t screamed like that since New York.

He’d refused to get close to anybody, to put himself at risk of that kind of experience again. Being a black market dealer made that easy for him.

Juliana, however, did not.

She had intrigued him from the very moment she’d stood in front of him in that saloon.

A whiff of soap, the touch of her soft hand, that shy but unbelievably bright smile.

Wyatt closed his eyes as he rose to his feet and headed for the bathroom, pushing down memories. He had too much to do in the present to lament the past.

“Keep the faith,” He muttered under his breath, a reminder for himself more than anything. “Keep the faith.”

Juliana never gave up. Never lost her focus, even in the face of insurmountable loss and most certain death.

He can’t give up either.

There were films to ship out.

**———**

“Sir!” The young man - barely out of boyhood, really - scrambled to attention when he noticed Wyatt approaching him.

“Josiah.” Wyatt greeted tiredly. “Sitrep?”

“All quiet, sir.” Josiah answered quickly, stumbling over his words a little. Wyatt grimaced and tugged a pack of cigarettes out of his jacket pocket.

“Please, stop with the ‘sir’. I’m not your general.” He lit up his smoke and took a drag before realizing he should probably offer one to the boy; maybe it would get him to unclench a little. He pointed the pack in Josiah’s direction, and the younger man hesitated before reaching out and snagging a cigarette.

“Thanks, si- er, Mr. Price.”

Wyatt barked out a dry laugh at that, and flicked his lighter on for Josiah to light up.

“Dear God.”

“Wyatt?” Josiah tried hesitantly.

“Better.” Wyatt muttered. They stood in silence for a minute, Wyatt knowing Josiah was uncomfortable, but he needed the nicotine to work its magic before he felt settled enough to speak again.

Damn nightmares. And even after everything he’s been through, all the people he’s lost and gotten killed during this fight against the Reich, it was Juliana that haunted him the most.

Juliana, in her pure steadfastness for Good. Juliana, who killed men that needed to be killed, then cried for them afterwards. Then lifted her head and moved on to the next task.

She was the strongest person he’s ever met in his life. She still inspired him, even after death.

He grimaced again, forcing those thoughts into the corner of his mind yet again. He needed to stop moping.

“You aren’t our general,” Josiah eventually spoke up carefully, “but you are our leader. And they know your name now. Lem told us it’s better that we don’t refer to you directly if we can help it.”

“Lem’s always got my back, doesn’t he.” Wyatt commented, not exactly grateful for that.

Lem has saved his hide numerous times over the last months. Saved his life in that damned tunnel, when all he wanted to do was throw himself on top of the grenade and maybe...

Lem watched his back even when Wyatt didn’t want anyone to. The man saved Wyatt from himself, too, on occasion. Wyatt both loved and hated him for it.

But the Resistance was bigger than himself, his personal problems. It was bigger than their losses. And Juliana had known that, had understood that better than anyone.

“Have you heard the rumors?” Josiah tried for conversation again, when the silence became too heavy for him. “About the Reichsmarschall?”

“John Smith?” Wyatt furrowed his brow, perking up a bit. “What rumors? Did someone finally take that bastard out?”

“Uh, no... but his family - his wife, she’s somewhere in the Zone.”

“What?” Wyatt moved sharply, tensing as he faced Josiah directly, his eyes hard as he considered this information. “Spy?”

“No,” Josiah shook his head, and lowered his voice, though no one else was awake yet at this hour. “She fled the East. She’s hiding from her own husband.”

“Jesus.” Wyatt cursed lightly, the sound just a breath as he already began formulating a plan. “Do we know where she is? Can we find her?”

“Probably won’t be too hard. Mike was the one I heard it from. Maybe he can - ”

“Thanks, kid,” Wyatt clasped Josiah’s shoulder briefly as he turned and headed back toward the bunks to find Michael.

His plan was dirty, but this was war. And as they say, all’s fair....

**———**

A meeting, in the Neutral Zone. In a neutral area of the Zone - away from the Nazi battle areas and the Imperial spies.

Montana.

“I’ll make a trade.” Smith announced quickly, his eyes darting between his wife and Wyatt. As disgusted as he looked with himself, Wyatt believed him.

He reaffirmed his grip on Helen’s arm, loosening the pistol against her skull but not by much. Just enough to show Smith that he was listening.

"A trade?" Wyatt snorted, unamused. "What? All those films you've burned? The lives you've taken?" He sneered at Smith, snarking, "Even your mighty Reich can't bring back the dead."

Helen whimpered, and concern flashed through Smith's eyes, for just a moment. It was so quick that Wyatt almost missed it - so, this man did have something of a heart, left.

"We haven't destroyed them all!" He replied urgently. "We've archived quite a few films, to study,"

"I don't need more films," Wyatt huffed, still sneering. "I can make more films." He gripped his pistol tighter.

"Juliana!" Smith added desperately, and Wyatt hesitated. Latching on to that noticeable reaction, Smith continued, "Your precious leader of your little movement, yes? I can give you Juliana."

"I..." Wyatt frowned, gathering himself. Smith was trying to trick him. "Juliana is dead. You killed her."

"I don't know that for sure." Smith admitted, shaking his head, and Wyatt gave him a perplexed look.

"Your grenade - "

"We captured her in the mines."

Wyatt stared at him, hard and silent, his grip subconsciously tightening around Helen's arm until she gasped and winced.

"You what." Wyatt whispered, not daring to believe the Reichsmarschall. This man didn't get to the position he was in today by luck alone. He was one of the most dangerous people in the world right now. He had the tongue of a snake, and if Wyatt's suppositions were correct, the only thing he cared about at all had a gun pointed to her head. He would no doubt say anything to keep Wyatt from killing her.

"We captured her," Smith repeated himself, sounding more calm again, "but she's... gone."

Wyatt wasn't sure what was going on, here.

"You're not making your case very well, here," Wyatt warned him darkly. "If you're just stalling for time - "

"She left." Smith told him, a hint of perplexity in his expression now, and Wyatt cocked his head at him. "I was interrogating Abendsen when I discovered... by the time I reached her cell she was already... I shot her, but then she was gone."

"Are you fuckin’ high?" Wyatt wondered incredulously, unable to follow Smith's half-finished sentences, but Smith's expression was suddenly cold and suspicious.

"Don't you know? What they are?" Smith asked in a way that was starting to feel like Wyatt was the one being interrogated.

"What _what_ is?"

"Travelers." Smith answered, and at Wyatt's blank look, he suddenly smiled a little.

That sent ice through Wyatt's veins.

"You don't know." Smith was amused, now, and Wyatt could feel the incredulity emanating from Helen. He didn't release his hold on her an ounce. "Where do you think your precious films come from, Wyatt?"

He knew that Smith knew his name, his chosen name anyway, but it still grated on him to hear it fall from his lips.

"I know where they come from. This isn't the point- "

"I'm not talking about your little copy man," Smith was the one sneering now, and Wyatt froze for a second as fear coursed through him. Did they know who his supplier was, too? Was the whole operation _that_ close to falling apart? "I'm talking about the _original_ footage," Smith spoke as if he were talking to a child.

"I know where it came from." Wyatt insisted. "Juliana told me,"

"Juliana told you," Smith mocked, his smile widening. "You fell in love with her, didn't you?" His voice took on a silky quality that grated on Wyatt's nerves more than anything up to this point. "I mean, I can understand it'd be hard not to. She's quite the woman."

"Don't you dare - "

"How do you think the original film got here, Wyatt? Don't you think _other_ people would be able to travel across universes, as well?"

"Are you saying..." Wyatt's frown deepened, his heart and his mind struggling with one another. It would be foolish and incredibly dangerous to believe anything Smith said, but he couldn't help the small spark of hope lit back to life within him...

"Of course, for all we know she's bled out by the time she reached... wherever it was she was going." Smith shrugged, and Wyatt snarled, and Helen cried out again.

"John, please!"

"Are you telling me Juliana is _alive_?"

"Assuming the bullet didn't kill her. Yes." Smith answered calmly, then soothed to his wife, "It's alright, dear, this man won't - "

"You think I won't." Wyatt laughed without humor and pulled the hammer back on his pistol. Smith, finally, looked uncomfortable again. "Why don't you tell your _dear_ _husband_ what you told me," Wyatt suggested into Helen's ear, his eyes on Smith. "About how you'd rather me _shoot_ _you_ than for you to return to the Reich with him. About how he scares you more than the Resistance does."

"I... I don't want to die," Helen moaned her admittance, and Wyatt made a soothing noise in the back of his throat.

"Of course not, most don't. I expected you to change your mind once faced with this moment."

"If you kill her, I won't take you to it." Smith said quickly, and Wyatt raised his eyebrow. "To the machine." Smith clarified. "We've been working on it. Anybody can travel through it, now."

"You expect me to believe that?" Wyatt laughed. "Even if your men let me into the compound, you'd use that thing to splatter my guts all over the wall! I've seen what it does!"

Helen winced at the imagery, but was quiet again. Wyatt could feel her trembling in his grasp, and he rather felt sorry for her in a distant sort of way. She was caught up in a hell of a thing, married to the devil himself. The only reason why Wyatt couldn't fully sympathize with her was because it was obvious a part of her still loved this devil. Even after everything he's done. And Wyatt couldn't find that forgivable.

"I've gone through it." Smith blurted, and Wyatt stared at him, as did Helen. Smith looked annoyed with himself again, but continued, "I've used it myself, a couple of times."

"Hunting for Juliana?"

"No." Smith wouldn't clarify, but Wyatt could imagine.

The Reich wanted to conquer entire universes, not just this one. The thought was terrifying beyond belief. If this machine really was up to working speed... The Resistance needed to find a way in, again. They needed to destroy it.

"I couldn't tell you where Ms. Crain ended up, but I'll let you use it to travel to the world we've connected with. Once. It could be the same world."

"That's a crapshoot." Wyatt huffed, unaffected by Smith's suggestion.

"I've been told that one ends up where one needs to be..." Smith looked at him sideways. "So I would surmise that if you need to be by Juliana's side like you're so desperately _wanting_ to, you would be able to find her." His gaze hardened. "Now, please. Give me my wife."

He wasn't exactly begging; it still sounded more like an order than anything else.

"Please," Helen murmured, and Wyatt couldn't say whether she was begging him to let her go, or to keep her away from the devil.

She leaned slightly back into Wyatt, not enough for Smith to see, but enough for Wyatt to feel it. Decision made, he pointed his gun at Smith's thigh and pulled the trigger.

"I'll take my chances on my own," Wyatt announced as Smith cried out in pain and dropped to the ground.

Without waiting for the man to grit through the pain and pull his other weapon Wyatt was sure was hidden in his trouser leg, Wyatt slipped back into the trees, tugging Helen with him.

"I met her, you know," Helen gasped as they stumbled through the underbrush together. When they were far enough away for a moment's break, Wyatt jerked her to a halt.

"What?" He demanded breathlessly.

"Julia - Juliana. I met her, in the East. She was... she was undercover, I suppose." Helen laughed without any humor. "I thought she was trying to get in my husband's good graces to further herself in the Reich. Turns out she was spying on him, planning on killing him."

"Maybe you should have let her." Wyatt muttered, continuing to move though at a less frenetic pace now that they were a few hundred yards away.

"He's the father of my children!" Helen snapped.

"And how many other children has he killed?" Wyatt returned pointedly, and she thinned her lips but said nothing for a moment.

"You had the chance to kill him back there, and you didn't." She noted.

Wyatt pulled to a stop again and listened for crashing footsteps behind them, but heard nothing over their own breathing.

"Go, get out of here. Before I change my mind."

Helen seemed disoriented at first, after Wyatt let go of her arm.

"You didn't kill him." She said, confused, even as she took a few steps back from him. "He'll kill you."

"Somebody will, some day." Wyatt disarmed his weapon before tucking it back into the holster on his hip. It would be easier to run without holding on to it. "Anyway, he has information I may need, later."

"You think he'll grant you a face-to-face again, after that?" Helen laughed incredulously, terror coloring her tone.

"No," Wyatt gave her a half-grin, a dangerous one. "But I've held him at a disadvantage before. I can do it again." His expression hardened. "Now go!"

Without further hesitation, Helen turned tail and ran, stumbling through the woods in a direction Wyatt knew would eventually take her toward the highway. He figured she'd find safety from John Smith again, somehow. He didn't really care, in the long run.

He had his own job to do, his own people to look after.

**———**

Lem thought Wyatt was crazy, at first. Figured everything they'd been through was finally catching up to him.

And he was beyond angry that Wyatt had let Smith live.

"Aren't you listening to me? Juliana is alive!"

"And she wouldn't want you to trade her life for John Smith's!" Lem returned hotly, knowingly, and Wyatt knew he was right, and that was what irked Wyatt the most. Still, though,

"Well she's not here to make that decision!" Wyatt shouted back, and Lem pursed his lips. After a moment of charged silence, he asked in a carefully steady voice,

"You really believe him? Smith?"

"You would have, too, if you'd seen his eyes." Wyatt nodded. "I know he was just trying to trap me in, offering his machine, but there are other ways to travel. I mean, Juliana traveled without it - and didn't she say the Trademinister could do that too?"

"The... Tagomi?" Lem looked surprised. "Juliana told you about that? I had to learn about it from Hawthorne."

"Juliana told me a lot of things." Wyatt replied a bit obstinately. Lem rolled his eyes.

"So let me guess - you want to find the Trademinister?" He got to the point. "Meeting with him won't be easy. He's attracted a lot of attention from the Japanese authorities, not to mention his closeness with the Royal Family."

"You've still got your connections in the West, right?" Wyatt hoped. "Mine are either burned, or not anywhere close to Tagomi."

"I'll figure it out." Lem told him. "And Wyatt... don't get your hopes up too much, alright?" His tone was almost compassionate, or at least as compassionate as Lem could be.

He knew of Wyatt's nightmares more than anyone else, after all.

"I have to keep the faith, right?" Wyatt half-smirked at his friend, more of a tired look than anything else.

"In the resistance." Lem corrected pointedly, raising his eyebrow.

"She is the resistance." Wyatt replied, turning to head into the back room where they kept their weapons hidden.

They needed to do inventory, and stock up. Especially if they would be headed into Imperial territory.

**———**

Meditation. Him. Who would have thunk it?

He was warned more than once to tread lightly, to 'let the path guide his feet'. If he tried to force himself to travel to a world where a version of him already existed, then, well... splat.

Or, perhaps he just wouldn't go anywhere. Or, even more terrifying, he could get stuck in some sort of unidentifiable in-between space.

"You've finally found a way to get yourself killed." Lem shook his head at Wyatt as he stood by the wall, leaning against it as he watched the Irishman sitting on the floor. "And I can't do a damn thing about it."

"I'm not trying to get myself killed." Wyatt assured him tiredly.

"Could have fooled me." Lem gestured at him. "This is insane. You don't know if you already exist in the world she's in!"

"It's a risk I'm willing to take!" Wyatt opened his eyes and glared up at his friend. "I'm not going to die. I'm going to find Juliana,"

"If Juliana's really alive, why hasn't she come back on her own, hm? Have you considered that maybe she's happy, wherever she is?"

"She could be hurt." Wyatt glowered, then closed his eyes and forced his expression into a mask of calm. Taking a steadying breath, he then said, "I'm tired of losing people, Lem. I need to take this chance. I need to _find_ someone, for once.

Lem sighed, but said nothing else, and Wyatt focused inward, pushing away his demons and nagging thoughts until he could find that little bit of warmth still residing in it's carefully protected box.

He thought of easy jazz, warm beer, and a firm hand within his own.

**———**

"I looked for you." Juliana murmured, her fingers against his cheek even softer than her tone of voice. When the cool swipe of the razor blade moved away, he couldn't help but lean his head into her hand slightly, still in disbelief that she was here and alive in front of him. "I couldn't find you. So I hoped..."

"That I could come here, as well." Wyatt figured, watching as she wiped the blade clean of shaving cream before setting it on the edge of the sink. "Lem told me about that part; about how you can only go places that you don't already exist in." Juliana nodded silently, reaching her hands up again, mapping his face with her fingers. He closed his eyes.

Her soap smelled different, here, but beneath that she was still Juliana.

"These are new." She brushed the pad of her finger over the scar on his brow, then the one far back on his cheek, and the one that cut diagonally over his jaw. His beard had hidden most of them.

"The Reich has been... relentless." He told her, his eyes still closed, focusing on her presence more than on the words he was saying. He didn't want to bring that pain here. "Tore through the borders, broke their agreement with the Japanese."

"The Neutral Zone?" She breathed in concern, and his eyes opened, seeing the worry in her own.

"Not so neutral anymore." He admitted, and she furrowed her brow in sadness. Wyatt took one of her hands in his, squeezed it gently. "It's a war zone, but... no one has gained control. At least not when I'd left. The people are still fighting, fighting hard. We wouldn't go down without a fight."

"The Resistance?"

"Taken a beating," He answered the unfortunate truth. "But not destroyed like the Reich would lead people to believe. We have people all over the country, we have films still distributing, we're still growing, even as..." He trailed off, and sighed. "Well, I can't say for sure any more. I don't even know how long I've been gone."

"Time seems to run the same," Juliana informed him gently, with an even gentler smile. Her thumb brushed against the corner of his eyes, which creased a little when he couldn't help but return her fond expression.

Juliana's smiles had always been infectious. Everything about her was infectious. That's what made her their champion for their entire movement, even as she had been here, in an entirely different world, teaching judo to people who didn't need it to necessarily survive but instead saw it as a hobby.

She seemed at peace, and Wyatt was glad for that. That she could be living in this sort of heaven, perhaps as a gift for all that she'd done and the horrors she'd had to endure in their world. Maybe Lem was right... maybe he shouldn't bring her back.

"I've lost so many people," Wyatt admitted quietly, shaking. "I don't know... I don't know how..."

"To find one?" How did she always know what he was trying to say? He nodded silently, not trusting himself to contain the sob threatening to burst from his throat.

For years, he'd thought she was dead. Gone, along with everyone else he’s ever loved.

She squeezed his hand again, soothing, and stepped closer to him, using her hand on his cheek to draw his face toward hers. Her kiss was soft, comforting, and he wondered for a moment that he should be the one comforting her. She had been the one almost blown to bits, kidnapped by John Smith, possibly tortured for information, shot, traveled through... space, or whatever one traveled through between the universes.

As her mouth lingered on his, he realized that perhaps this was her comforting herself as well, and so he kissed her back, a little less shyly than he had the first time.

When they eventually parted, he no longer felt like he was on the verge of a breakdown. He blinked at her, thinking clearly for the first time in quite a while, and he smiled as he brushed his hand through her hair for a moment.

Then he gently tugged his hand from hers, and sat back in his chair.

"I know how to get back into the compound, where the machine is, at Lackawanna. I know how to destroy it." He informed her. The gentleness in her gaze hardened, revealing to him that Juliana hadn't forgotten about her past, that she was still very much aware of what still needed to be done.

That perhaps, even here in this comparably-idyllic world, she'd still been making plans.

"Tell me."

**———**

With her newfound connections in the other world, Juliana was able to supply them with weapons, ammo, explosives... some devices Wyatt had never seen before, but she'd assured him that she'd studied them extensively and knew how they worked.

It would provide the Resistance the advantage it needed against the ever-growing Reich.

They just needed to make sure they not only took out the machine, but the scientists as well, and every scrap of documentation they could hunt down. They could not leave anything to chance that the Reich wouldn't build another machine.

And then, John Smith.

And eventually... perhaps take back New York. And from there...

Hope was a dangerous thing. Hope inspired revolutions - and Juliana brought back that hope, not only to Wyatt but to the others in the Resistance as well.

Word had spread of her return, recruitment was up beyond anything Wyatt or Lem could have dreamed of. John Smith himself might even be aware by now that Juliana was 'back home', but that didn't matter now.

Because now they were gathered just outside of Lackawanna, plan locked down and rebel troops ready to go. Every single one of them knew that today's mission was particularly dangerous, that it was likely they could all die, even if they succeeded. And still they stood loyally, believing in a movement that was bigger than themselves, awaiting Wyatt to give the go-ahead.

He wasn't their leader, but it turns out he is something of a general.

"If we get split up..." Juliana paused, as they both checked their weapons one last time, momentarily left by themselves in the back of the truck.

Wyatt looked up toward her, briefly surprised by the worry he could see in her gaze. But then he was remembering their last mission here together, and the mines, and the explosion. Her cry of terror barely heard over his own. He could see the shared memory of it in her eyes.

He quirked a lopsided grin at her as he hopped out off the tailgate of the truck.

"We'll meet in Santa Fe." He replied casually, as if they were discussing a vacation. A surprised chuckle blurted from her mouth, and she smiled at him before ducking her head and nodding.

"Santa Fe." She agreed, tucking her pistol in the back of her waistband.

He watched as, with her head held high and worry hidden from her face, she approached Lem and a few of the others.

Feeling more confident than he had in months, Wyatt followed after her.

* * *


End file.
